Thursday, September 22, 2011

Being authentic vs being self-disciplined - can you be both?

I often wonder if I should do things that I do not want to do.  For example, take a job I do not want, volunteer at things I really do not want to do.  When I was younger, I would do it all because I thought what the heck.  Now, I just don't have the patience or energy.  When does one push themselves?  For example being authentic would sound like " I don't like the gym."  Being self disciplined would sound like " I don't like the gym but it is good for me so I will do it anyway."  Being inauthentic would be me saying to myself and others "I love the gym." 

Sounds confusing and like I am splitting hairs?  Not sure myself sometimes but I have realized from therapy that being authentic is GOOD.  Being self disciplined is GOOD.  Having clarity on what you want is GOOD.  Now I just have to pull it all together and make it work for me.

In the end, choices have to be made and looking back on my life, I realized that I made choices that were INauthentic and even though I learned a few things here and there, I think I could've spent my time more wisely.  In the end, it is always better to know who you are even though it narrows your choices.

In the past, I was afraid to know who I really was because I was afraid of the real me.  What if the real me doesn't want a normal job, to be married and have 2.5 kids, etc.  That would break my parents' heart.  Guess what, it looks like that is going to happen anyway in a more roundabout painful way.  Where I keep trying for normality, lying to myself and others.  In the end, I gotta be me and deal with the consequences.

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