Frustration

When I don't exercise, I feel frustrated.  This locked energy then spews forward in the most awkward ways.  I think I cut somebody off yesterday when I was driving.  Not really, because I signalled way ahead of time but the car next to me was going so fast that it was hard to make it to the left lane to make a left turn.

What I feel bad about is that the car honked at me when I got into the left turn lane and then I honked back.  I feel bad because I had a feeling that I did do something wrong and instead of sitting with that; I had to honk back.

The weird thing is that I wasn't even angry or feeling frustrated before that happened.  I was fine, went to the Farmer's market, did not work out as much as I usually do but still, a good beginning to the day.  The cars are so fast now,  it could be a 35 mph speed limit and everyone is going 50.  I am sure I've done it myself.

I just did what everyone else does which is put on my turn signal when I am about to make a turn instead of what I usually do which is put on my turn signal and of course, 9 out of 10 times, the car will speed up instead of slowing down to let me in.  I then let them speed up and go past me and I immediately follow.  This takes some time and I need to know about 1/2 mile before I make a turn.

This time, everyone was going so fast that by the time I saw my turn, I had to put my signal on, look and then turn like everyone else.  No giving them the time to pass me. 

Anyhoo, whatever.  I feel guilty but that energy is a waste.  I guess I cannot do what everyone else does and get away with it.  Story of my life.